Shitless

Fear,
you spiral upward and down
the flip side of my core
and now unleashing you
letting the lid  of Pandora fly,

I find solitude…….

I’m afraid,
of losing drive,
driving out of control,
hitting brick walls,
and completely
losing
focus.

I’m afraid,
of brightest lights,
having no talent,
being pricked
with needles of eyes.

Afraid of falling on ice
in a short skirt,
falling from vertiginous heights,
falling in love.

I am afraid of trusting,
having faith,
of not being caught,
of being held down,
being held back,
and being left out.

I’m afraid of showing my woman,
my child,
and never enough lady.

Afraid of sinking into
and settling for.

I’m afraid
of being disrespected,
disrespectful,
being nice,
being a bitch.

I’m afraid of being ample,
inadequate,
being completely misunderstood,
and never showing enough slip.

I’m afraid of being found out,
exposed heart,
shining my truest alma.

Afraid of average,
every girl,
everyday,
ordinary.

I’m afraid of dark cold water,
walking on the street alone
in the green-tinged hours of morning.

I am afraid of being left
and floating in the
grayest ambiguity
of leaving.

Terrified!
of what ifs,
should haves,
could haves.

I’m afraid
of being led astray,
of straying from my heart,
and turning on my soul.

You ask, “are you ever scared?”
I turn to you,
reply in one breath
one word…shitless.

copyright 2009  Jennifer Brinn

Published by

jenniferbrinn

Writer, Speaker, Intuitive Guide, Reiki Teacher & regular chick inspiring, guiding & musing about everything from mishaps to grace within our Universe!

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