Fighting Fire With Honey: Facing Triggers With Heart


I recently shared with friends and family my personal views on a recent political development via email. It was well received by most in my circle and then I received an email from a family member not quite so in favor…in fact they were in vehement opposition. I’ve always been told that politics and religion are taboo in topics of conversation. And since I like to meet most discussions as conversations rather than confrontations, I tend to enter in with open mind, heart, eyes and ears. 

While I wasn’t surprised to see an opposed view, their response seemed harsh and reactive. Then I realized they were being who they are. I, on the other hand, was getting triggered by an old memory of how domineering family members imprinted their opinions into my life while growing up. An old pattern of mine would have been to react to the opposition with a  subjective suit of armor and fight to the end! Yet over the years I have learned that pattern no longer served me and the person I’ve come to be. Therefore I decided to take the opportunity to extend compassion in the simple act of experiencing this person and their response. Instead of trying to debate political views, I simply respected what was true, that this person had a different view and expressed in their own capacity.


In our daily lives it is so easy to get triggered by others. But what is really happening? We get angry, upset at the other person for basically being who they are. Whether we are relating to our sweethearts, our bosses, or even someone cutting us off in traffic, we end up attaching ourselves to the fact that, for whatever reason, this person is not meeting our needs. While good to recognize when our needs are not being met, how do we keep from getting triggered and falling into a downward spiral of frustration, anger,blame, resentment, sadness etc.

When we look at our triggers, they typically lead to events in the past..sometimes as far back as early childhood. When these events are never sent healing, then we walk around with them like guns in our holsters reacting to current situations and people inappropriately. Can we have the courage and compassion for ourselves to heal the wounds that have molded and continue to trigger us?

In Jack Kornfield‘s book, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, he writes:

“Central to the stories we tell are the fixed beliefs we have about ourselves…Because those thoughts and assumptions are so powerful, we live out their energies over and over. These patterns of thought, together with the contractions of body and heart, create a limited sense of self. They are sometimes called “the body of fear”. When we live from the body of fear, our life is simply one of habit and reaction.”

It has been studied that when fear, anger, frustration, anxiety, etc are harbored in the body it hinders the organic flow of energy. When we are able to step out of these emotions and look deeply at why we have created this armor, it is then that we begin to incorporate the truest form of compassion. Part of our attachment to the armor is our misunderstanding of events beyond it and their placement in our lives. When we set ourselves up with proper support, we can send healing to these issues with intention and awareness to truly understand why these events occurred in our lives.


“We begin to recognize patterns of these contractions and learn that they are not the most fundamental reality. We learn how to step from these old skins, the small sense of self, into the reality of the present. we find ways to allow the body to ease, the heart to soften and the old stories of the mind to fall away.”

It is from this place that genuine shift begins, because we see where the healing is needed and we begin to take care of ourselves intuitively. Once this happens we begin to soften, allowing more space for a higher vibration to live within. Compassion originates from within and is sent outward. It is then when our perception shifts and we are able to respond to a current situation with our truest spirit rather than a suit of armor.

Ready to unblock your heart? Work With Me!

Published by


Writer, Speaker, Intuitive Guide, Reiki Teacher & regular chick inspiring, guiding & musing about everything from mishaps to grace within our Universe!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s