It was 5:30p.m on a Friday afternoon when one of my clients, who is partner in her law firm, plopped down in the chair of my office and vented about one of her associates working on a case with her. I listened as she directed her vehement frustration at the lack of skill, effort, willingness and even integrity of the person in question. After about twenty minutes, she took a deep sigh, her shoulders slumped as if she’d been Sisyphus all week. Taking a gulp from her water bottle, she looked in desperate need of a martini instead. “What do you think?” she asked.
The bigger part of my work isn’t the healing, but the tracking…tracking the energetics of patterns at play. What is the pattern? Why is it there? Where did it originate? How does it continue to inform our actions in the world?
So when she asked me what I thought, we got to work on her inner world before addressing her outer world. Reminding her she was partner at her firm and the responsibility of being a leader which goes along with it.
As we step into a position of leadership, there is a responsibility we need to consider. The old saying, “lead by example”…what examples do you want to set?
3 Questions to ask yourself as a leader:
What impact do you want to make in the world?
What change do you want to create in others’ lives?
How do you want to be remembered?
6 Simple Tips on being a Leader vs. a Boss:
Spending a good majority of our week at our jobs, we tend to create many relationships. Whether personal or professional, relationships are about relating to one another. Yet so much of the time we create separation with our limiting patterns and beliefs…I call this the ‘yuck’. We get tunnel-visioned rather than opening the periphery of doing things differently. Discovering your own ‘yuck’ helps to lift you out of the expected way of doing things, allowing you to effectively become a different person, elevating you to a higher playing field.
Offering constructive criticism: Always begin with the positive. Praise first, then offer your concerns.
Asking ‘What if?’ When encountering a perceivable roadblock, rather than becoming exasperated, ask the “What ifs” As in, “What if we looked at this project from this vantage?” or “What if you approached your deliverables in this way?”
Seeing the silver-lining: When we’re solutions-based rather than problem-based, we apply a natural curiosity and enthusiasm to our objectives. This becomes an infectious inspiration to those around us.
Active participation: Never ask someone to do work you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself.
Lifestyle Management: There is such a thing called work-life balance. Recognizing that your team members have individual lives. Encouraging this in them, rather than making unrealistic expectations of them. And participating in this balance yourself! Studies prove over again that maintaining a health work-life balance, allowing time for movement, rest, play, reflection, even proper nutrition creates a mind/body complex which is far less reactive and more responsive in every aspect of life.
I’m pleased to report that after doing some work with this client, she is taking more time to nourish herself and feeling less depleted. She has more room to consciously relate with her associate and feels less exasperated as the defensive walls have been dismantled.
Like life, leadership isn’t something we finally arrive at. It’s a journey and something which continues to present us with valuable opportunities to explore our strengths, weaknesses, and stretch the limits of who we are towards who we can be.
Ready to stretch your limits? Work With Me!