A Room of One’s Own: Alone-time for You
It happens very rarely, that time when no one else is home and I get the pad all to myself! It’s not that I do anything particularly extravagant with that time. It’s simply a blessing to have the quiet, the stillness, to not have to find socks or lunchboxes, keys or any other items of miscellany. I do get a lot of time to myself, but it’s primarily spent doing work around our home, organizing, cleaning, I get time for yoga and hiking, but it’s the time for complete, uninterrupted stillness which I covet. Sitting on our deck and gazing off into the sky, watching the hummingbirds and bees be nourished from the flowers, hearing the local covey of quail guiding each other over the land and of course, as Pablo our cat would agree, there is nothing more important than petting him!
Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade my family for the world, but there are daydreams of having a small off-site writing retreat by the ocean…and that’s when the room of my own begins to beckon! Regardless of whether my beau and daughter are home, it’s imperative for me to find these ‘rooms’ of my own. I do have a lovely home office which is home to only my things…books, photographs, art supplies, inspiration boards, the altar at which I practice my Distance Healings. Often the deer outside will peek in through the windows. It’s pretty sweet! These pockets of time, these spaces of our own are integral to our wellbeing because it is within these realms that we stop externalizing and begin to get still. And when we get still, we get restored. When we get restored, we feel energized, inspired, “in spirit”.
I hear from so many who feel spent, exhausted, uninspired, lethargic. We spend five days a week giving to our employer and then spend the remainder of the week giving to our families, friends, partners that we forget to invest in ourselves. By the time we realize how depleted we are, we begin to grasp at things we think will fix us, when really all we need is the simple maintenance plan of ‘alone-time’.
“But I don’t have a room of my own!”
Create one! A room of one’s own can be anywhere! While it’s lovely to have, you don’t need an actual room.
a garden patch
a chair on the deck
a bedroom with doors closed
a hill on your hike
a bench in the park
a spot on the beach
a soaking bath
Create a “no buzz zone”: Inform everyone in your home that you are entering into a ‘no buzz zone” for 45 minutes (or more if you can get away with it.) During that time no “honey can you?”, no “Mommy where is?”, no CNN 24-hour News Coverage, no Spongebob, no talking, grumbling Furbees, no interruptions, no interactions, no phone calls, emails..in fact surgically remove your smartphone from your body and throw it at least 100 feet away from you!
During this time practice going within for at least 10 minutes. “Within where??” That means being quiet. It means being in the quiet without focusing on something else. It means being okay with being quiet. Notice your surroundings without needing to prune that plant or sweep the floor or fix that gate. Just BE.
And those of you who live without the family pandemonium? Don’t think you’re excluded here. You’re getting time to yourself all the time, but are you appreciating it and utilizing it? When I lived alone…(insert sparkly, flashback, harp music) I loved coming home at the end of the day, lighting candles, playing music, cooking, reading or simply sitting out on my tiny patio. So many of us aren’t accustomed to being quiet and alone. And remember….
Alone time does not have to equate loneliness.
Let this time nourish the most important relationship you’ll ever have, the one with your spirit. And the only way to truly cultivate it is within a room of one’s own.